An epiphany (from the ancient Greek ἐπιφάνεια, epiphaneia, “manifestation, striking appearance”) is the sudden realization or comprehension of the (larger) essence or meaning of something. The term is used in either a philosophical or literal sense to signify that the claimant has “found the last piece of the puzzle and now sees the whole picture,” or has new information or experience, often insignificant by itself, that illuminates a deeper or numinous foundational frame of reference. This concept is studied bypsychologists and other scholars, particularly those attempting to study the process of innovation.^[1][2][3]

2011 was a very strange and dangerous year for me. As many of my close friends and family know I have not been well. It’s not because of anything specific, but more the sum of all my problems…which I refused to acknowledge at the time. Depression? of course, but there IS more.

We are confronted with problems on a daily basis and our brains rationalise these and come up with solutions….it’s when we ignore these solutions that our brains start to overload and struggle. Your head is telling you one thing and your heart another. We hang on to what we want, not realising that sometimes it’s better to just let go and accept that life sucks sometimes. 

I let go of many things at the turn of the year. I had to. Now I feel liberated. The things that I was hanging on to last year, the dreams, where just that. Dreams. The reality is much different. Now I am starting to feel like my old self again. It’s a pity that so many things had to break inside me to get here again, but after contemplating suicide on various occasions ( a permanent solution to a temporary problem as some might put it) self preservation kicks in and tells you enough is enough.  

2012 will only bring me happiness if I get rid of the things that are making me unhappy and start doing things that MAKE me happy. And that includes people. Anyone that drags me down (or tries) is getting the boot. 

An epiphany? or just common sense finally taking over? you decide. 

• The words Liar, Two-Faced and Hypocrite have been thrown around a lot lately by people who are -unfortunately- not very well educated. Going back to school and developing some basic social skills is probably out of the question…especially when these people like to boast ignorance. But I will try and broaden their limited horizons…..

  
  

  Hypocrisy is an unconscious self-contradiction: a state of incongruence between one’s professed beliefs and feelings and one’s actual beliefs and feelings, or an application of a criticism to others that one does not apply to oneself.

  Hypocrisy is not simply a lie, saying something which one knows to be false. Neither is it simply failing to practice those virtues that one preaches.  

  “Nothing is more unjust, however common, than to charge with hypocrisy him that expresses zeal for those virtues which he neglects to practice; since he may be sincerely convinced of the advantages of conquering his passions, without having yet obtained the victory, as a man may be confident of the advantages of a voyage, or a journey, without having courage or industry to undertake it, and may honestly recommend to others, those attempts which he neglects himself.“….Samuel Johnson  (like giving advice to a ‘seasoned’ biker who’s travelled all around Europe since 1993 on how to pack a bike when you don’t even ride a bike yourself!)

  Thus, an alcoholic’s advocating temperance, for example, would not be considered an act of hypocrisy so long as the alcoholic made no criticism of other alcoholics on the pretense of constant sobriety. In other words…stop talking shit and maybe other people will stop talking shit about you….anyway, let’s carry on.

Two-Faced - marked by deliberate deceptiveness especially by pretending one set of feelings and acting under the influence of another….(So you’ll understand what this means: Hugging someone and calling them Hun and then mouthing off behind their back…)

Deception Types

Deception includes several types of communications or omissions that serve to distort or omit the complete truth. Deception itself is intentionally managing verbal and/or nonverbal messages so that the message receiver will believe in a way that the message sender knows is false. Intent is critical with regard to deception. Intent differentiates between deception and an honest mistake. (Like deleting people on Facebook ‘by accident’, when we all know you’re talking shit.)

Self-focused motives: using deception to enhance or protect their self-image, wanting to shield themselves from anger, Embarrassment, or criticism. 

Flying ‘off the handle’ when confronted with a simple question is an admission of guilt itself….but for self-centered people with low self-esteem and -dare I say- no social skills it is a given that they must react this way. Communicating with people of lower intellect is very hard, and in most cases, one will find that when the subject is cornered, they will resort to anger, and or, the aid of a similar person in their gene pool to defend them….a bit like a Ring Leader in a circus rounding up angry chimps…the end result? chimps behind bars. And no bananas….

Stop texting and in-boxing my kids. If you’ve got something to say, say it to my face, or shut up. This has nothing to do with them. And don’t blame me for your state of mind…you’re the one that started this nine months ago with your ‘trash talk’ and name calling on FB…I’d like nothing better than to never hear your name or have to deal with your shit ever again….but you just keep going on….let it go.

In the interest of clarity I have decided to explain to everyone what has happened with the HBF, or rather, two of it’s members.

It is my opinion that private disputes amongst members should not interfere with Club events, be it social gatherings or Rallies. The situation with Nicola Peckham came to a climax at  the Horseshoe Rally last year, where she openly attacked me verbally in front of various witnesses with derogatory comments about my health and other personal matters. For everyone’s sake I decided not to lower myself to her level and did my best to ignore her. Unfortunately, this wasn’t enough and -as a result- I ended up having an argument with my spouse, Sharon. The situation later escalated when Mick (Nicola’s boyfriend) decided to get involved. Even though Mick and I decided to ‘bury the hatchet’, Nicola continued to attack me through my family, friends and on Facebook. 

As an adult I understand that not everyone can get on…sometimes one has to make himself scarce by removing himself from the equation…my absence at meetings and runs was due to me trying to keep my distance from Nicola, who has still to master the fine art of diplomacy. As the situation got worse, and acting on the advice of David Scrine and other members of the HBF) I decided to join Fenlanders. 

Despite my efforts, I have never openly attacked neither Nicola or David. Any comments that I might of made on FB or other social networks where all left as a response to things being said behind my back and served as an acknowledgement.

Going into any substantial detail of what has been said, by whom, etc., is a fruitless exercise. However, what is more concerning is the ‘official’ stance that the HBF has adopted towards me. I am an active member of the HBF, and Tan has confirmed this. So, my question is: Why have I been blocked on the official website and on Facebook? We all know the answer to this question, and if you don’t, please take a moment to review David Scrine and Nicola Peckham’s comments on FB. 

I have emailed David regarding this situation, and have yet to receive a decent-credible- explanation.

The HBF is not a H.O.G. chapter, and is unlikely to become one in the foreseeable future…Not when it’s Director can openly and publicly display what can only be described as a childlike behaviour towards it’s members. The position of a Director is -first and foremost- to keep the Club organised and under control. If two members have a falling out, taking one side or not doing anything about it at all, will (case in point) lead to  someone going to another club…Worse of all: taking a side and publicly attacking a member on a social network calling them a ‘Tosser’ doesn’t really show good leadership skills….

The H.B.F is just David Scrine’s ‘sandbox’….and you can only play in it if he likes you. Members might be under the impression that a vote is needed by all active members to kick someone out, but this is not the case. If you have something to offer, hardware, an exhaust system, a free service of some description, you will be more than welcome to join….until you pass your ‘sell by date’….it is ironic that this same person (and Nicola) have the nerve to call everyone else ‘two-faced’! What is more ironic….they have called each other two-faced! (and other things which I won’t mention).

A Director should also show his support when a member does something for a charity, especially if it’s the club that’s taking the credit. The free portrait tattoo I did last year at the Norwich Body Art Festival was a total let down for me. Nearly £300 was collected on the Saturday for Help For Heroes…but not a soul from the HBF showed up on the Sunday when I actually had to do the tattoo. The media was there waiting to interview me but I was stuck at Walkers Caffe waiting for certain individuals to decide wether they where going to give some moral support and come up to Norwich. I ended up going up there on my own, (missed the press) worked eight hours and came back alone. But Mr Scrine got what he wanted, so I was of no use to him anymore.

Nobody has spoken to me face to face, even though Nicola and Dave ‘boast’ about not having an issue with telling people what they think to their faces….they would rather delete you on FB and then ‘bitch’ behind your back for everyone to see….and when things get tough, call in the boyfriend to clean up your mess!

Anyway, I have had my say. My advice to you all…vote for Mr Scrine to stand down as Director before he does this to you. And get rid of the rotten apples too. The H.B.F. still has a chance of being a good social place to hang out and there are still some lovely people there that I miss very much. 

Thanks for reading.

Gavin

I will get the hang of this….:-p